=D

i love daddy.

lost again?

life sure is full of uncertaintities.
even things that you were once sure of, can turn doubtful in a day.
or even mere seconds!
it's quite scary to think of that.

i had a nightmare.
and it stays on with me till the day i find true happiness.
it's not that i don't want to throw this bad dream away.
but it's too much a shock for me to handle.
after for so long i was sure of it.
it took a turn and disappoint me.
i still have hopes and dreams.
but how long would it take for a good dream to take over this very bad one?

can i still believe that it will be forever?
or do i just ignore it until it comes true one day?
confused and contradicting.

LIE

the perfect life i thought i would have shattered right in front of me today.

do you see me bending down to pick up the pieces?

UP

i know, i disappeared.
i went on an adventure with the green monster, and my best friend serene.
i came back to earth, & wish that it would all happen again. =)


serene & i finally went for our tan.
finally catching up after erm months.
we layed on the tanning bed @ Cafe Del Mar & talked about everything!
everything = our boys. again. -.-
& cos' the next day happens to be Alan Korkor's birthday.
the naggy old woman managed to help me save my $$$ cos' i saw tons of cool stuff at Vivi City!
especially THAT pull&bear dress. GAH!
but luckily, cos' now it's only 6th?
& i'm almost broke.
thanks to my new fake teeth. ;< Alan Korkor's birthday was fun, considering me & Rene walked a thousand miles to get his birthday cakeS.
& chatting at the same time.
i love our chats, their always the best! =D
come to think of it, i'm already missing it now.
the shocking truth is, Rene is engaged.
on the same day.
i'm having mixed feelings, as both of us do.
but u're strong enough to walk through it & the BEST ting is..
i'll always be herre! =D
okay it was very fun watching the always "zai" Alan Korkor puking non-stop & having no energy to walk.
it was rather funny hehheh.
& having marcus sleeping with a guy who's like, always luffing at everything the girls do.
& chatting with rene & linlin at the living room while the boys are asleep.
i would love to have this day again!


did i mention hulk is into fishing now?
with his gladiator rod i think he can capture a million fishes.
in 10 years.
it's quite boring for me cos' its totally not like prrawning.
so i can't join in.
& evrytime i gotta get ready my favorite magazine.
hulk's been quite a good boy.
am i allowed to even say this?
erm, i better delete it away.
planning for his big hulkday.
the more i plan, the more excited i become.
especially when i start to get better deals & nicer food & stuff teehee.
i'm enjoying every moment of doing this kinda things.
ARGH!!! i'm psycho.
i'm hoping the october arrives soon.
so i dun have to anticipate until i hyperventilate one day.

i thought this month started quite badly.
i'm talking about work now.
but then it turns out...
Charlene started my month well!
on the 5th, but it's really good enough.
it's early enough for me to catch up & hit my target hehheh.
i gotta keep doing this.
even though nobody's "seeing" it, i worked hard for it.
okay?!?
i shouldn't let what you say affect me from doing better.
gah!

random updates:
-lily ah yee returned from japan.
-kentaro suzuki coming on 11th.
-junpei suzuki coming on september.
-G.I Joe with hulk tml!!!
-fishing with hulk tml!!!
-annabel's make-up test coming soon.
-.. Test coming soon. cannot say cos' "pantang"

that's all folks!

a broken heart

if i walk away, you'll be so much happier.

In An Unperfect World

lately therre's been discussions about whether to ask for pay-rise.
as knowing too much about what other people are getting for their basics can be quite discouraging.
thank god i have commission to make up for it.
but still, it's not good enough.
i believe it's not about being ungrateful or discontented as i know of those who have higher basics complaining.
the thing is that, it's true.
we've worked for more than 2years herre.
& even a little raise is enough to make us feel worth it to stay.
i have one of the best boss in the world i must say.
but that's just it.
she doesn't really determine our salary so..
therre's nothing i can do.
for now.
i guess.



irene was lyke saying that guys should earn more cos' they need to support the car expenses, the gf, the blahs..
& if the girl earns more, they suport themselves.
i used to disagree with that cos' i always find that both parties should share the expenses.
now, i feel the same way but.
it doesn't mean that the guy should let the girl pay more.
even if the girl earns more.
it's even worse if he doesn't have time to spend with her.
then having this r/s is so meaningless don't you think?
it's ends up drraining the girl emotionally.
and POOF! therre's goes the dream of having a happy family.


okay i'm currently in this negative mood.
cos' i'm very pissed off right now and i dunno how to even explain it.
in all aspects of my life..
the only thing that's prfect in it is my mom.
eff it.

COME ON. =(

hate it.
it's THAT month of the year again.
i wish it's not true.
tell me it's not... ... ... =(
i hope i didn't offend anything.

gah.
Daddy just told me he won 4D.
AGAIN.
i dun understand why.
WHY IS IT NOT ME?!?

okay it's supposedly a rather good day for me.
- considering that i saw MOMMY!!! =D
- & i bought alot of FOOD : durian pancake, kuehs, oyster mee sua, cheese sausage prata AND!!! kokokrrunchhoneystarsHLMILK!!
all for brreakfast am i nuts or wat?
i can't decide what to eat so.. yea. \m/
- & i slept enough during my nap-time.
but then work changed everything.
NO! NO! NO!
even small amount also NO?!?
gah.
i need $$$.. =(

hopefully after complaining some angel hears me, sees me working hard, and make my life a little easier. =P
that's all.
just wanna complain & i'm done.
didn't feel any better but at least i tried! =)